Automobile Story, the second script
Still no sign of Lightning McQueen. Chick Hicks arrived in California and today became the first car to spend practice time on the track. It's just nice to get out here before the other competitors. You know, get a head start. Gives me an edge. Yeah! Hey, McQueen... Eat your heart out. Let me get this straight. I can go when this road is done. That's the deal, right? - That's what they done did said. - OK. Outta my way. I got a road to finish. - He's done! - Done? It's only been an hour. I'm done. Look, I'm finished. Say thank you, and I'll be on my way. - That's all you gotta say. - I'm the first one on the new road! It rides purty smooth. - It looks awful! - Well, it matches the rest of the town. Red. Who do you think you are? Look, Doc said when I finish, I could go. That was the deal. The deal was you fix the road, not make it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again. Hey, look, grandpa, I'm not a bulldozer. I'm a racecar. Is that right? Then why don't we just have a little race? Me and you. - What? - Me and you. Is that a joke? If you win, you go and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way. Doc, what're you doin'? I don't mean to be rude here, but you probably go zero to sixty in, like, what? Three-point-five years? Then I reckon you ain't got nothin' to worry about. You know what, old-timer? That's a wonderful idea. Let's race. Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy's Butte, go around Willy's Butte and come back. There will be no bumpin', no cheatin', no spittin', no bitin', no road rage, no maimin', no oil slickin', no pushin', no shovin', no backstabbin', no road-hoggin'... ...and no lollygaggin'. Speed. I'm speed. Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. My friend Guido, he dream to give a real racecar a pit stop. Peet stop! The race is only one lap, guys. Uno lappo! Don't need any help. - I work solo mio. - Fine. Race your way. - No pit stoppo. Comprendo? - OK. Gentlemen... ...start your engines! - Hijole! Check that out! - Whoa. Great idea, Doc. Now the road will never get done. Luigi? On your mark, get set... Uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to... I can't believe it. Go! Doc... the flag means go. Remember the fl... Here we go. Go. Doc, what are you doing, man? Oh, dear. It would seem I'm off to a poor start. Well, better late than never. Come on, Mater. - Might need a little help. - OK. You got your tow cable? Well, yeah, I always got my tow cable. Why? Just in case. No, no, no, no, no! - Oh, man! - Whoa. Bad trip, man. Hey! Was that floatin' like a Cadillac or was that stingin' like a Beemer? I'm confused. You drive like you fix roads. Lousy! Have fun fishin', Mater. I'm startin' to think he knowed you was gonna crash! Thank you, Mater. Thank you. I can make a little turn on dirt. You think? No. And now I'm a day behind. I'm never gonna get outta here! Hey, ese! You need a new paint job, man! - No, thank you. - How 'bout some organic fuel? - That freak juice? - Pass. Watchin' him is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink? Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I'm a precisional instrument of speed and aero-matics. "You race like you fix roads." I'll show him. I will show him! Great! I hate it! - Hate, hate, hate, hate it! - Music. Sweet music. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Wow. Mornin', Sally! Hey, look at this here fancy new road that Lightnin' McQueen done just made! Yes! Amazing! Yeah! Ramone! Mama ain't seen you that low in years. I haven't seen a road like this in years. - Well, then let's cruise, baby. - Low and slow. E bellissima! It's beautiful! Guido, look,buy wow gold it's-a like it was paved by angels. Boy, I tell you what. I bet even the roads on the moon ain't this smooth. Doc, look at this! Shoulda tossed him into the cactus a lot sooner, huh? Well, he ain't finished yet. Still got a long way to go. Guido, look at Luigi! This is fantastico! That looks like fun! Mater, I got dibs, next turn! Hey, Luigi, this new road makes your place look like a dump. That crazy old devil woman. She's right! Guido! That punk actually did a good job. Well, now... where the heck is he? Sheriff! Is he makin' another run for it? No, no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night,cheap wow gold and asked me if he could come down here. All he's tryin' to do is make that there turn. No, no, no, no! Oh, great. Perfect turns on every track I've ever raced on. Sheriff, why don't you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's. I'll keep an eye on him. Well, thanks, Doc. I've been feelin' a quart low. This ain't asphalt, son. This is dirt. Oh, great. What do you want? You here to gloat? You don't have three-wheel brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you'll be outta the dirt and into the tulips. So you're a judge, a doctor and a racing expert. I'll put it simple. If you're goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turnin' right. Right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left! Yes! Thank you! Or should I say, "No, thank you"? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, "Thank you"! Crazy grandpa car. What an idiot! Turn right to go left. Oh, that... Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. You know what? This crazy thing happened... I went right! You keep talkin' to yourself, people'll think you're crazy. - Thanks for the tip. - What? I wasn't talkin' to you! - Oh, Guido, e bellissimo! - Che cosa? - It looks great! This is great! - Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo. Oh, Lord. Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight. Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute. What if he tries to run again? Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. - But keep an eye on him. - Yes, sir! While I'm stuck here paving this stinkin' road, Chick's in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's touching me? You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make-a such a nice new road. You come to my shop. Luigi take-a good care of you. Even though you not a Ferrari. You buy four tires, I give you a full-a size spare - absolutely free! - Look, I get all my tires for free. I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free! Would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone! Then Luigi make you a new new deal. No, no, no, no. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. - No, no, no, no. No. - This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire,cheapest eve online isk I give you seven-a snow tires for free! Done. You interested, you call me. You know where I am. Stop! Let me... Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? - No! No! - On the hood right there. Stop, stop! That's cold! Help! Please! Stop! Thanks, Red. What was that for? - Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone? - Huh? If you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even in hillbilly hell we have standards. What, I? I don't get it. I thought I'd say thank you for doin' a great job. So I thought I'd let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. Not with me there, but there in your own cozy cone. - And I'd be in my cone, and it's... - Wait. Wait, you're being nice to me. If you want to stay at the dirty impound, fine. - I understand you criminal types. - No, no, no, no. That's OK. - Yeah, the Cozy Cone. - It's newly refurbished. Yeah, it's like a clever little twist. The motel's made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars try to avoid. But now we're gonna stay in them. That's funny. Figure that all out on your own, did you? Cone number one, if you want. Hey, do I spy a little pinstriping tattoo back there? That's just a... You saw that? Yeah. Just gonna be going. Gonna... Yeah. You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-Iookin' girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her. - What are you talking about? - I don't know. Hey, I know somethin' we can do tonight, 'cause I'm in charge of watchin' you! No, Mater, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here. Well, that's all right, Mr. I Can't Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn't handle it anyway. Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you're talkin' to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything. - Mater, I'm not doin' this. - Oh, come on. You'll love it! - Tractor-tippin's fun. - This is ridiculous. All right, listen. When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch you. Go! Whoa! Wait! Who's Frank? Mater! Wait, Mater! OK, here's what you do. You just sneak up in front of 'em, and then honk. And they do the rest. Watch this. I swear, tractors is so dumb! I tell you what, buddy, it don't get much better than this. Yep, you're livin' the dream,age of conan powerleveling Mater boy. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Oh, your turn, bud. Mater, I can't. I don't even have a horn. - Baby. - I'm not a baby. Fine. Stop! Stop, OK? All right. I'll do something. That's Frank. Run! Here he comes, look out! Run! He's gonna get ya! Customers! No, no, no. Tomorrow night we can go look for the ghostlight! - I can't wait, Mater. - Oh, yeah, I'm tellin' ya! Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was fun! Oh, yeah... yeah. Well, we better get you back to the impound lot. You know, actually, Sally's gonna let me stay at the motel. - Gettin' cozy at the Cone, is we? - Oh, come... No. No, are you kidding? Besides, she can't stand me. And I don't like her, to be honest. Yeah, you probably right. Hey, look, there's Miss Sally! Where, where? - You're in love with Miss Sally. - No, I'm not. - Yes, you do. - No way. - Way. - Come on, look... - You're in love with Miss Sally! - Real mature. - You're in love! - Real grown up. - You love her. You love her. - Wait... You love her! You love her. You love her. All right. OK. Mater, enough! - Will you stop that? - Stop what? Driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck. Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! You just watch this right here, lover boy. What are you doing? Watch out! Look out! Mater? Mater! Mater! Hey, take it easy, Mater! He's nuts. No need to watch where I'm goin'. Just need to know where I've been. Whoa, that was incredible! How'd you do that? Rearview mirrors. We'll get you some, and I'll teach you if you want. Yeah, maybe I'll use it in my big race. What's so important about this race of yours, anyway? It's not just a race. We're talking about the Piston Cup! I've been dreaming about it my whole life! I'll be the first rookie in history ever to win it. And when I do, we're talkin' big new sponsor, with private helicopters. No more medicated bumper ointment. No more rusty old cars. What's wrong with rusty old cars? Well, I don't mean you, Mater. I mean other old cars. You know? - Not like you. I like you. - It's OK, buddy. Hey, you think maybe one day I can get a ride in one of them helicopters? I mean, I've always wanted to ride in one of them fancy helicopters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. - You mean it? Oh, yeah. Anything you say. I knew it. I knowed I made a good choice! In what? My best friend. See you tomorrow, buddy! McQueen and Sally parked beneath a tree, K-i-s-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-t! Number one. Number one... Number one! - This is nice. - Hey, Stickers. - I'm sorry. - You scared me. You gotta be careful. I scared myself scaring you scaring me. - I mean, I wasn't like "scared" scared. - No, of course not. No. - I was more... - I overheard you talkin' to Mater. When? Just now? What, what did, what did you hear? Something about a helicopter ride. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn't he? - Did you mean it? - What? - That you'll get him a ride. - Who knows? First things first. I gotta get outta here and make the race. You know... Mater trusts you. Yeah, OK. - Did you mean that? - What? Was it just a "Yeah, OK", or "Yeah... OK" or "Yeah, o-OK"? Look, I'm exhausted. It's kinda been a long day. Yeah,cheapest wow gold OK. G'night. Hey, thank you. What did you just say? You know, thanks for lettin' me stay here. It's nice to be out of the impound, and this is... It's great. - Newly refurbished, right? - Yeah. - G'night. - Good night. Will you turn that disrespectful junk off? Respect the classics, man. It's Hendrix! No! I gotta get outta here! Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? Oh! Oh,cheap ao credits my gosh. - Hey, what are you doin'? - Get a good peek, city boy? I just need my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Wait for him at Flo's. Get outta here. I've been trying to get outta here for three days! Hope you enjoyed the show! Whoa, Doc. Time to clean out the garage, buddy, come on. What? He has a Piston Cup? Oh, my gosh.
Date: 30 July 2008, Wednesday
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